“A man about to tell the truth should keep one foot in the stirrup.” - proverb of unknown origin.
A real man is not afraid to cry! Realization of the vastness of your own ignorance is the first step on the road to true wisdom. It doesn’t matter who you love – it matters that you love. We are not here merely to make a living. I grumbled because I had no shoes… until I met a man who had no feet! (That’s from my grandfather.) Love is always having to say “I’m sorry!” (Whoever said “Love is never having to say I’m sorry” was full of crap!) If you cant be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. Pain and Suffering is inevitable but Misery is optional. (A Buddhist proverb) Don’t let some man tell you what a woman is. How would he know? Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. If your kisses can’t hold the woman you love, then your tears won’t bring her back! (Sophie Tucker directed this one at women, but it works both ways.) Excellence is not a skill, it is an attitude. “I don’t know” is a valid answer. (I was taught this one early, but a few teachers in school gave me grief over it.)
HA! There is one in there that I believe is so true that I want to write about. Something about take time to listen and learn from the women in your life. They know what women want and the women you meet will thank you for it.
trust is one thing once lost is hard to get back.
That’s such a good one that it was one of the first narratives I’d written down. 
It not so much as finding the right person than being the right person.
Thank you all for your input thus far. I’ve divided the book into chapters: Money, Sex, Relationships, Work, Life, Useful Knowledge and People so far. Having trouble filling as many pages as I need. I hate the idea of adding fluff, but am toying with the idea of adding current and not so current events that a young man could learn from. My goal is to make it a sort of handbook for my son’s teenage and early adult years. The advice I never got, kinda thing. Here is an excerpt. I am only working on content at this point and will return and edit for style and mechanics later. 1. You can trust some people and some people you can’t. Do your best to stay away from the people you can’t trust. 2. We will always have regrets. We do things that hurt ourselves and others and are later embarrassed by them. Just try to think about the consequences of your actions and how they will affect others and how the others may feel about it. Just as you don’t want to be reminded of that mistake you made in the past; just as you don’t want the one stupid thing you said or did to be how others define you, neither do other people want to be defined by their past. Try to see a persons potential, their future, when you look at them; not their past. But on another note, it would be foolish to ignore someone’s present character when interacting with them. If someone is prone to have a short temper, violence, theft, etc., and this is well known about them, it is best to take that into account as you can be sure that is just the person that they are and nothing has changed about them. This is why it is important to develop a good reputation for yourself. People do judge your character by the trends in your past actions. 3. Everyone makes mistakes and forgiveness is important between friends. It is also important to forgive strangers. We all have to share this world and live together. But for some people, it is in their nature to be dangerous either to themselves or others. Sometimes certain things are difficult to forgive; if someone hurts you on purpose, for example. That is why we have prisons; so we can lock up the people that are dangerous. We have prisons, not so much so we can punish people (as most people agree prisons do not change the prisoners into a better person; there is no rehab involved or intended), but so we can protect people from them. Repeat offenders are that way by their nature. 4. Never use guilt or otherwise make someone feel like they owe you or are obligated to help you. Never coerce anyone to help you or expect them to change their plans to help you. 5. Always reciprocate a favor, kind act or good deed. When asking for favors, try to make it worth their while don’t just expect them to do something for you because you asked; for instance, at work when you need to change days and have to find someone to cover for you, offer to work one of their days next to one fo their days off so they can have a longer break or buy them beer or wine or bake cookies. Never expect any one to do you a favor without it being repaid. If someone has done you a favor and they ask you to return the favor, you had best do it otherwise they will feel slighted and will not help you in the future. Plus, it’s just a jerk thing to do to not return a favor even if it inconveniences you. 6. ALWAYS pay people a fair if not generous wage. Tips should also be between 15-20% depending on the service. Tipping someone $1 for a $10 meal is just insulting. 7. Always word requests in such a way so that people do not feel obligated to say “yes” because they feel too awkward to say “no”. For example, Do not ask anyone what they are doing before you tell them what you are asking. Tom: What are you doing Friday night? Tim: I don’t have any plans yet, why? Tom: I was hoping you would work for me. In an instance such as this, people feel cornered. It’s considerate to give people a way out, so that they can decline with tact. The goal is to make others feel good about helping you or working with you. If you treat people well, they will speak highly of you to others. If you treat people badly or take advantage of them, they will not only not help you out when you need them, but they will try to avoid you. You typically can only take advantage of someone once, so despite what some sociopaths may claim, it pays to treat people well and develop a working relationship of mutual respect. 8. With that said, be careful not to be taken advantage of yourself.
Buy and possess precious metals. Paper money has always failed.
Is that really smart though? I’ve been skeptical. Unless you are connected, you pretty much have to BUY at retail price. Then wait years for the value to go up and you can only SELL at discount price. I guess it won’t matter if the monetary system fails completely. But does walmart accept gold?
Don’t loan money to friends, IF they pay you back great, but often they don’t and you lose a friend. Better to give it to them if you feel like it.
if you can learn from your experience. It increases the value of any experience. Many things that seem big and important will later leaving you scratching your head over why you lost any sleep over something you couldn’t care less about not. It’s better to love well and have good friends then to be over burdened with people who aren’t special to you. And most important if you’re ever bored just start thinking about how amazing it is that you even have a nervous system to be bored with in the middle of a great miracle and mystery.
Is that really smart though? I’ve been skeptical. Unless you are connected, you pretty much have to BUY at retail price. Then wait years for the value to go up and you can only SELL at discount price. I guess it won’t matter if the monetary system fails completely. But does walmart accept gold?
Dunno, this applies to fiat currency just as much, if not more so
re: REGRETS… I don’t know about anybody else, but I regret the things that I didn’t do more than I regret the things that I did. i.e.; Missed once in a lifetime opportunities!
Learn to control yourself, when you can do that, everything else falls into place, the trick is, it usually takes a lifetime.
Here’s a pearl of Quaker wisdom: Truth without Love is Violence.
Don’t loan money to friends, IF they pay you back great, but often they don’t and you lose a friend. Better to give it to them if you feel like it.
So true. I’ve included something along these lines, but I think yours is well put and looks at things from a different perspective. I might just have to take it and run with it.
from: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who\_said\_neither\_a\_borrower\_nor\_a\_lender\_be In William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, Polonius is speaking to his son Laertes who is leaving to go to University in Paris in act 1, scene iii when, in the course of giving him advice on how to live and behave himself while abroad, he says… Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
@Nietzsche_Keen for a teenager Yes, although Gold isn’t your best choice . but metal have always exceeded inflation. Billions lbs of Gold has been discovered in Ireland, once it makes it to market all bets are off.A certain country has been buying silver, they purchased more than the us mines.Their coined bullion grabs high dollar amounts; and is a very popular coin that is often counterfeit by their own mints.
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If someone sees you need help, except it regardless if you want it ,your helping them feel better when they try to help you.
from: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who\_said\_neither\_a\_borrower\_nor\_a\_lender\_be In William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, Polonius is speaking to his son Laertes who is leaving to go to University in Paris in act 1, scene iii when, in the course of giving him advice on how to live and behave himself while abroad, he says… Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
I have included a quote from the Tao Te Ching, I guess I could include good proverbs and quotes everyone should know. I was trying to avoid that, but seeing as how I have very little in there right now anyway, I might as well add some fluff.
Here is another incomplete chapter so far. Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated. 1. Tit-for-Tat. In 1962, Robert Axelrod, now a professor at the University of Michigan discovered that a strategy of generous Tit-for-Tat gave the best outcome in a game of Prisoner’s Dilemma. Common sense tells us not to trust people we don’t know, but sometimes we have to in order to get by. As the Russian proverb goes, “Trust, but verify”. Generous Tit-for-Tat tells us to cooperate first (from the very beginning) because that is how we gain trust and because that is how we want others to treat us. If the other person cooperates, then you should cooperate unless your intuition and inferences tell you they are about to stab you in the back the next time. If the other person doesn’t not cooperate, then you do not cooperate the next time. Basically, whatever they do to you, you do to them the next time, but occasionally cooperate because this shows a willingness to forget the past and to cooperate with them again in the future; which is best for all involved. 2. It sounds cliche’, but live each day as if it is your last. This does not mean neglect your responsibilities to others and spend your life sky diving or doing other high risk activities. This mean enjoy the time you have, appreciate all the relationships and friendships you have and have had no matter how long they may have lasted. It means never leave things unsaid such as “I love you” or “I apologize”. It means living your life in such a way that if you died tonight, you’d have no regrets and can die a happy man. 3. Do not overstay your welcome. This applies to more than just people’s homes. Knowing when to leave and leaving gracefully when you’re no long wanted is an important skill to learn. 4. It is important to know who gives good advice and who gives consistently poor advice. Get plenty of opinions and run alternative opinions by others. Some people are simply idiots or naive about the world. Find someone that has made good choices in life and look up to them, but be sure they aren’t just trying to screw things up for you. People WILL stab you in the back just for the sake of entertainment sometimes. I freely admit that the advice in this book maybe poor advice in another time or situation; it may just be poor advice in general. And though it may seem a bit like circular reasoning, you should check the advice in this book, just as you should any advice. 5. PLEASE! Stay well away from drugs. I’ve seen so many smart friends of mine ruin their lives completely and it was al because they messed around with pain killers, heroin, and meth. I don’t personally know anyone that has used crack cocaine, at least not that I’m aware of, but stay away from that too because that ruins lives just as easily as the others I’ve mentioned. 6. The biggest thins is to stay away from the bad kids in school and the bad adults later; they will bring you down and ruin your life. It is in your best interest to stay away from people that use drugs, fight or otherwise get themselves into trouble. I came very close to going down a bad path because the people I was hanging around were causing trouble in the town. 7. Cannabis and psychedelic substances such as LSD (real LSD not LSA), psilocybin, mescaline, salvinorin A and DMT are okay in moderation and in the appropriate settings. Please do not become a stoner; Smoking pot everyday. Pot often makes you apathetic, unmotivated or simply ok with being bored and none of those characteristics are admirable. There are no plant spirits and using psychedelics will not bring you to enlightenment. Anything weird or pseudo-scientific that you “learn” from them is a delusion and should be treated as such. They CAN, however, help you to become more introspective and empathetic which can, if used properly, lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and others. They can help you become a better person by forcing you to look at yourself and give you the opportunity to make changes. These should be done alone or with someone you trust and with relaxing trance music, such as Buddhist chants or Kirtan playing softly in the back ground. Be Cautious! You do not need drug charges on your record and you will go to jail for a very long time if you ever get caught. As with anything, you should do plenty of research beforehand, so that you have a full understanding of what can and is to be expected to happen.
I don’t think that taking LSD is good advice. Period. Its artificial insanity, and keeping one’s sanity is difficult enough. I took LSD in the late sixties, early 70’s, I’m not sure what the overall effect has been, but in my opinion, all the psychedelic drugs are kind of dangerous. And yes, I agree smoking pot makes one lazy and apathetic if one does it too much. I’ve been guilty of that crime too often to count. But, that said, it is legal where I live, so I’m growing my own, using it it only late at night, so it’s okay to be lazy. I think the best advice to your son would be to not do drugs at all, but if he chooses to, to use common sense and discretion since they are illegal in most places. Who knows? maybe by the time he is of age, the laws will have changed.