UPDATE Ibild, you asked “can you file a bankruptcy and have you arrears disappear? In the US you cannot they are with you for life” Correct, same in the UK, it’s with you for life. MORE INFORMATION 
“ I ” was happily married but, while I was at work, “she” was sleeping with the guy next door. In a nutshell, I got told to leave; my kid was very young at the time so it was hard on us both because, she couldn’t understand what happened and, I missed her a lot. Over time, the X moved away, purposely to reduce the time my child could spend with me. Now I only see her ten days a year, in the summer holidays (yes, she lives miles away from me and, there’s water in-between us). She’s a lot older now (13 years) and we’re starting to have a proper relationship as she understands more. Only having that much time with your kid each year “trust me, they don’t even know you” Back on the subject of the CSA and, so called, absent fathers. I DIDN’T choose, or want to be an “absent father” as the government put it. One thing that really PI**ed me off on TV a while ago was that tosser, David Cameron from the conservative party. He looked at the camera with a look of total contempt on his face and said “absent fathers must and WILL pay-up”, the CSA will be getting more powers to ensure we pay-up. The powers he is talking about are the removal of our passports and, driving licences so we can’t run-away. I WILL take that to the European Court if it happens because, driving licences can only be taken away with driving offences and, the removal of my passport is an infringement of my rights as a free citizen WITHOUT a criminal record. I was told by a nice guy at the Citizens Advice Bureau if I earned £1200 per month, my “protected earning” are only £367.46 per month. You lot do the math! How can I 1 Pay rent 2 pay water, gas, phone, and other bills 3 buy food 4 have a motorcycle 5 Buy Nicotine What they are trying to do is threaten me with the removal of my freedom (passport and licence) and criminalize me. Now, if they think that the way to get my attention is a bill for £14,000 (yes, 14k) AND put an attachment of earnings on my wages for £220 per WEEK from a £210 a week job, there’re wrong, big time wrong. I’m not a guy who takes kindly to crap like that. So, all they have succeeded in doing is 1 Remove my ability to pay my taxes 2 Remove my ability to pay my bills 3 Be of part of society My answer was simple, I went to court with £510 from the sale of my motorbike which I loved riding, and went bankrupt. Let somebody else pick-up the tab, I don’t give a toss anymore. And, that’s the way the system deals with “absent fathers” I hate that term. This is the way I’d like to deal with the politicians in “my world” for striping me of EVERYTHING 1 put on your ice skates 2 pick-up your stick and puck 3 find a referee 4 let play hockey I’m sure I could get my point across, as that’s never going to happen I’m now part of a growing underclass of dads pushed out in the cold. Thanks for that, one last thing. Do you know how hard it is listening to your daughter telling you she’s making-up a small box for her daddy at Christmas? “It’s full of the things you can’t afford, like a toothbrush, soap, and other small things which make a difference she said” This year I can’t even buy her a gift, that’s the hardest part of all. Would I ever have another relationship with a woman? Not a chance in hell, it’s been 11 years since that all ended, 11 years alone, but at least I’ll never get screwed again (No pun intended) total distrust of the female sex, and total distrust of our system. Do you blame me ? Now, back to my electrical engineering study, they can’t take my education away!
I didn’t say hi and thanks to all the other posters on this thread so, hello and thanks VonKramm asked “Is it hard to find work as an electrical engineer?” i guess it is, yes. That’s not what i’m looking on doing, i’m thinking about household alarm systems and, in-house LED lighting seems like it’s getting bigger everyday. I’m studying at this level because, i’ve alot of time on my hands Then i can earn some cash and spend loads on my kid, not have it taken
Hi Shaun, Welcome to the forum. I’m truly sorry to hear about all the crap you’ve been going through, it really sucks. Glad you’ve still got your eductaion, snus and snuff though! Don’t give up on relationships, though, that means that your ex wins and robs you of more than just your earnings. Maybe be a bit more careful, though 
From Debbie (not all women are evil!)
Hello Debbie I did wonder when a female would chip-in, and you’re correct, not all women are evil!, if I told you how I deal with a potential come-on, you would think I was nuts Shaun
About to be in the debt laden boat with you. Halfway through college, done 60+ credits out of 120 for my degree in a year and a half. Can’t get a loan to pay off the tuition for next semester, so back to home with the parents. $1200-$1600 a month job, with about $41000 in debt and half a university education await me there. So, I owe about £25200, and make at best around £1000 per month. Fortunately, I have a six month grace period to build up my reserves, but I’m going to wind up having to work at least two jobs. Still, I’ll work something out, get set up in a flat somewhere in NYC, and go back to school again. May wind up starting over a computer science major, however. Still, much cheaper schools there. Something will make it work out, though, that’s how I see it.
Shikitohno, your not a brit, you talk like a brit mate That’s a big pile of debt man. Still, education when your young is a one time deal. Like you say, something will work out. I’ve included a list to help you with being british gander: to look at jugs: breasts goppin’: gross minger: an unattractive girl hacked off: annoyed rat-arsed: drunk wank: to masturbate chunder: to throw up arse-over-tit: fell over cop a feel: to feel someone up moose: an ugly girl snog: a french kiss Hope that helps geezer
I’m trying to moderate my speech over here, because every once in a while, I’ll run into a proper Briton. I’ve had a couple that thought I was making fun of them. Half my British words come from hearing things once and rather liking them. I’m always a bit down that you can say you’re pissed to mean drunk in the UK, but here people would think I’m about to start a fight. Probably my favourite one I’ve come across. That, and I’m always game for listening to a Cockney speak. I know the kennings don’t get used as much as people think, but I still find them amusing. As you say, it’s quite a different situation for us, but I sympathise with you. It’s no fun having debt over your head.
I always use the word pissed in the same way you guys do, i worked in an ice rink for ten years. Surrounded by Canadian hockey players, and I married a Canadian bird as well. When i say pissed, people say “you don’t look drunk” and i always watch a “show” on TV, not a programme. i could carry on all night As your in, NYC. how are the rangers doing this season ?
I was the only American working among Brits on cruise ships. The first time some one asked me for “plasters” i had no idea what they meant. When I said “oh, band aids” they would correct me, “that’s a brand name!” Then they would tell me to “hoover” the floor. I think “fanny” is the most differently used word though. A polite way off saying “ass” in America, something very different in Britain, at least back in those days…
@ukiceman. Welcome and thanks for sharing on a personal matter. It’s something many can relate to these days. A lot of us fret that we have bought too much snuff. After reading this tale of woe I say it makes good sense to squirrel away as much as you can in good times; if you have a financial reverse, you just don’t run out of this precious commodity. The court can make you sell your motorcycle, but not your snuff.
@miamimark Don’t forget… Thong = micro g-string or Thong = flip flops @stitch squirrel away as much as you can yeah, tell me about… Something i didn’t do! I wish i’d loaded my cards up with Roderick b4 i went bust, never mind. i’m sure something will play-out
for miamimark here is a british joke for you. Two old woman are in church when the one taps the others on the shoulder points to one of the pews in the back and says “thelma is that fanny green in the back pew”. The other old woman says “no its just the stained glass that makes it look like that.”
Haha, I had to read it several times! Some caps and a question mark would help. When my Brit girlfriend heard one of the Yanks refer to a “fanny pack” she thought they were talking about a tampon!
Iceman I think being called an Absent Father is a good thing, in that; here they call dads who get behind deadbeat dads… But either way its wrong and they fail to see the adverse affects of what they are doing to dads, when they deny them the ability to maintain ‘survival income’ … In America they can strip you of any license you have, building license, fishing/ hunting license, business license, drivers license, passport, ect… Further they can through you ‘arse’ in jail until you pay all you arrears… You can have your property taken from you in order to pay what they call is your fair share. In the State where I reside, I was able to go before the judicial committee and get the bill that would strip you of your license stopped… However it was short lived a "rimmer of an old moose’ went and reintroduced the bill, had it put in another committee and got it passed… I enjoyed your points how the deprivation of license and passport is a denial of ones rights… You are so very correct, it denies a person the ability to establish himself an Identity, and further restricts his ability to interact with society… A person is also denied the opportunity of equal employment… He can further be inhibited from access to his child, if you are to be bound to the island then she also should be limited in her travel as well… For myself I had the opportunity to be beaten down and listed as another victim… However I have for the last several yrs become a pursuer of justice… I speak before members of the house and senate those who write and vote on these laws… I am a coordinator for a father advocacy group, where I help other dads gain the tools and the know how to seek and gain custody of there children… It is also a support group to help encourage dads… As i see this issue, many have gotten near sited on why men work… Men enjoy their families and want to be good providers, we love to come home and look at the fruits of our labor… We love to play, teach, lead, and we love to be the protector of these little gifts… Since the outbreak of the divorce revolution men have become third class citizens and have been stripped of our identity ‘fatherhood’… We have been told to go get a second job, which does interfere with any visitation schedule… You should reach out and look for advocacy groups, or start one in your area, apply for grants your government has available… Search out and find members of parliament that support your issue’s. Heck maybe we need to start the “international coalition for fathers rights” I.C.F.A.R… You are British, and Britons have a long history of protecting their rights… We can thank them for the Magna Carta, I think there has been at least 2 revolutions in Briton… We have Briton to thank and the Scots and the Irish for the country I live in… RISE up and be COUNTED, because G-d forbid your children would have to go through what you have suffered… Seek to make changes for their future… Ibild
@ ibild In the UK the term deadbeat dad is sometimes used for describing guys that got so beaten down that, death was the better option. You say “In America they can strip you of any license you have, building license, fishing/ hunting license, business license, drivers license, passport, ect” America, the land of the free. “But only if you’re a female” if you’re male and father a child, the free female citizen can have an affair and, you’re the no good scum that must pay at all costs. Once a female said to me “are you bitter, if you can’t afford them don’t have them” yeah I’m bitter, being treated like a second class citizen for helping to produce something that I love and would lay-down my life for in an instant, while people like you s***w whoever you can, but that’s ok, the X can pay. If they can’t afford nice things after they’ve left us then, don’t have them. Don’t run up bills on plastic cards and expect me to pick up the bill, should’ve figured that one before you kicked me out. As far as I’m concerned, the day she did that was the day she forfeited the right for ANY money, unlucky, deal with it. I’ll duck-and-dive and run-and-hide, your not getting a penny. However, if my child phones me and says “dad, I need something” up till now she’s got it. She knows I’m bust and she’s not really bothered, as long as your ok dad was her reply CSA = Chancellors Savings Account. The whole system CSA/Family Courts/Social Services etc, is first accountable to the Government then the Mothers, with Fathers seen as nothing more than cash cows by everyone. We have no rights what so ever and will be royally screwed over by every one Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no problem at all paying PART of the upkeep of my child but, all that money and I only see her two weeks a year. RUBBISH. I’d like to think our feelings and wellbeing is taken into account. I love my daughter more than anything in the world - there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her but, if the CSA is taking all my money and giving it to her mother and leaving me with nothing, then I’ll sink myself, but before I do, I’ll ride to Africa, which I did. 14K and £220 per week, my kid must have one hell of a cocaine habit! @ ibild I think what you’ve done on your side of the pond is incredible, going before the judicial committee, and speaking before members of the house and senate. From what I know of the American system (7 series of the west wing) it’s amazing you can get anything done. Plus you’re obviously a very educated man, that much I can tell from your posts. I don’t think little old me could pull that off
I always like to ask where the accounting is. What is in place to make sure the money even goes to the childs well-being. I’ve known tons of crap mothers who act like it’s free money for them. Shit like spending the money on drugs and boyfriends while the kids shoes fall apart. Criminals get treated better it seems.
I know of a tramp round my way that had her breasts enlarged with an arrears payment. I’m guessing so she could go out and trap more men!!! Will it ever end ?
iceman In the UK the term deadbeat dad is sometimes used for describing guys that got so beaten down that, death was the better option. Sounds to me the Brits have said it best… I will have to use that the next time I attend a committee… The point i try to make; the people who do not like your rights are the ones making or getting laws changed… In order to end the tyranny at some point those who are tired of it must begin to make in roads to level the playing field… Bob, I have said that many times… Some accountability needs to go along with the free money… My sons mother is re married they bought a house 3 times the size of mine, they own 6 vehicles to my 1… They took my son to disney world last yr for x mas, to bad it was during my visitation… In there defence he has a pretty good job as a diesel mech. The company he works for has provided health insurance for my son. He is also a pretty decent guy just do care for his wife=)… Ive only got about a year and a half left till my son is 18 and my support ends… Then I will have a check that is free and clear and more time to devote to fathers rights… Ice I do hope you are able to get something worked out, but at least you dont have the stress of going to jail till you pay up…
Welcome ICE! Sorry to hear about ur troubles. America don’t play around when it comes to child support. I know a few decent guys who haven’t ever done anything wrong besides skimp out on their child support, and they had to sit YEARS in prison because of which. PRISON! Where they send all the murderers and rapists and hard criminals! Where I live, there are alot of deadbeat dads, as well as mothers, that should have never had kids, just for the check. But it’s becuz of those deadbeats that WE decent fathers get a bad rep. I pay up my child support. I do not think she deserves it, but I’m better off dealing with it than having her screw me over in a few years. That’s the way I look at it. But at least I get my kids once a week. If you can beat the odds and stay clear from it, more power to you. Good luck with that…
Iceman Found this link for you fathers rights and others in the UK.