I’ve had snuff-related rhymes stuck in my head all day - is that normal? Anyway, I’ve just finished a little piece about snus, the Swedish oral snuff. I imagine this as a very camp American TV ad with an American actor asking an English actor about a snus being marketed in the US: American Actor: Snus? What the deuce? Sounds familiar . . . Is it from Dr. Seuss?" English Actor: No, mate - It’s snus! *cue cheesy background music* Listen up good So you won’t be confused It’s a smokeless tobacco From Sweden called snus! American: Is it a bit like dip? English: *Scoff* Please, excuse! It’s made for the well-dressed Man who eschews To look like a hick Who spits after he chews! American: Is it bad for my health? English: No, mate, read the news! The State tried to ban it In spite of the views Of the doctors who found That there’s nowt wrong with snus! American: Does it taste alright? English: There are flavours to choose! Were I in your shoes, I’d go pick up some snus. But you’d better be quick - People line up in queues! It flies off the shelf No one can refuse The wonderful, magical Stuff that is snus! Swedish Man: Snus - now available at your local Smokes 4 Less store! Skål! It’s a bit annoying, but that’s the point with this sort of ad. My challenge to you now is to come up with an ad for nasal snuff. The winner gets a congratulatory letter/certificate and a free tin of Silver Dollar snuff in the mail (not too exciting, I know, but I don’t want to blow too much money on this). Have fun!

Does snus rhyme with snooze?

Does snus rhyme with snooze?

Well, not exactly. The final ‘s’ is soft, so most of what I’ve written are actually half-rhymes. Maybe I’ll post a video with my voice acting for the ad - it’s not really funny just reading it, now that I think about it.