Can it be done and, if so, how? Sorry for being a bit thick!

s masty

Personal Message them and ask for their email address. Personal Messages are not entirely private an administrator can view them. When you click on their user name in the right hand corner you see message click on that . In most post under users name you will see time posted next to that you see PM Personal Message and then Flag you want to click on PM. If you write in the box without pushing message first it ends up on the wall in activity. And you rarely know it is there unless you look. when you have a PM you get a notification