I have struggled for some time taking fine snuffs, and having suffered from the impervious horrors of one too many throat hits I stumbled across this revolutionary new method which is working really well for me. It takes a bit of getting used to and may seem strange at first, but anyone possessing even a passing interest in the archaic uses of tobacco smoke (for example smoke administered, via a set of leather bellows, to the terminal part of the lower intestinal canal in order to revive a [rescued] drowning person) may not find it that surprising. I too was sceptical at first, however after investigating the high sensitivity and thin walls of the ‘zona cutanea’ the (at first preposterous) suggestion became one worth exploring. My first challenge was to find a method of application which could be done, A; by myself in private, and B; as hygienically as possible. I decided on the rubber glove which I found under my kitchen sink as a suitable starting point. I put my right hand in the rubber glove and removed my trousers and underclothes. I positioned myself in front of the mirror and opened a tin of Wilsons Best SP. It was then that the thought occurred to me that because I was entering what might be termed unfamiliar territory - the road less travelled, if you will - I decided that a ‘dry run’ should be undertaken, that being the proper, scientific thing to do. The main reason for this is that whilst most people are possessed of two nostrils, we are all only possessed of one, um, nether-hole, so I decided that as I only had one shot at this, I had better make it count. Gingerly at first, I explored myself, digitally, for a while, before deciding that yes, I really think this is going to work. I then realised I would have to go and clean the rubber glove because I didn’t want to get anything unpleasant in my tin of snuff. So having done so I reassumed my ‘wheelbarrow’ position in front of the mirror and it was then that I encountered my second problem of the day. The feel of the rubber glove suggested I was going to have a problem getting the snuff to adhere to it. So I shuffled around the house with my trousers and pants round my ankles looking for something which might serve, and luckily my eyes lit upon a small jar of petroleum jelly which my wife uses as a lip balm. I realised that things were coming together rather well. I ‘rimmed’ the jar of Vaseline with my rubber glove, and went back to my mirror. As I suspected, the snuff adhered very well to the petroleum jelly covered rubber gloved finger. I was getting a bit agitated by this point from a lack of nicotine, so I decided it was now or never. I checked myself in the mirror (looking good), I assumed a bent over position, and inserted confidently the snuff-covered petroleum jellied finger. I’m not sure whether it was the sheer amount of snuff that I managed to shove up there, a reaction with the petroleum jelly, or perhaps simply the whole thing being such an incredibly stupid idea in the first place. Suffice to say that the awful stinging sensation did subside after an hour or so on the toilet (thank God for moist Andrex). However I persevered and am now in the process of attempting to educate my posterior to sniff, or rather suck, as opposed to blow, which, let’s face it, is what it’s more used to doing. Throat hits and drip are a thing of the past, and my hankie drawer truly runneth over. On the negative side, the Vaseline and Moist Toilet Tissue bills have gone through the roof, but then you can’t have everything. So, the verdict on Anal Insufflation. Don’t try it at home kids, or if you do, try it carefully. Onwards and Upwards! Happy April 1st :^o
So, the verdict on Anal Insufflation. Don’t try it at home kids, or if you do, try it carefully.
On the whole, better to try it at home than in a work cubicle in the office. Haha.
Hahahaha am I on snuffhouse or bluelight? Great stuff.
How would you explain the dust cloud when you fart? The old excuse “it wasn’t me” would be hard to pull off when there’s a dust cloud coming out your ass
Hope you don’t get butt-drip…
LOL butt-snuffin’. Now I’ve heard it all =))
Brilliant
Glad you liked it. April Fools Day was too hard to resist this year! >:)
Hahaha this made me laugh!
I’ve heard of people putting alcohol and illegal drugs up there but nicotine?!? I must try this when I get home. Lmao. Ok well maybe I wont but thanks for the laugh
Damn, I didn’t see the “April Fools”…
Ironically, it’d probably actually work, much in the same way that alcohol does (and also with the same dangers). But the stains in one’s drawers would be doubly horrific if one lets loose too much…
When using Snuff Nasally I sometimes need to Pick my Nose ? Best April 1st. I’ve seen so far
http://archive.tobacco.org/History/Tobacco\\_History.html "•c.1 BCE: Experts believe American inhabitants have begun finding ways to use tobacco, including smoking (in a number of variations), chewing and in probably hallucinogenic enemas (by the Peruvian Aguaruna aboriginals). " Maybe you are a descendant?
Could you post a how to video up on You Tube ? :(|)
That was funny, great stuff… :))
Could you post a how to video up on You Tube ? :(|)
Now that would be a step too far…or would it?
Priceless XD SP scented toots! When you need extra confidence for that nervous gut!
This leads me to believe that a cigar as suppository is next. “A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is ???” The questions remain. Should one light the cigar prior to or after insertion? Or just leave it unlit? Robusto or Double Corona? Maduro or Candela? Habana Puro or Cheap Cheroot? Cigarettes for the tight asses? Vaseline or something with more anesthetic attributes? Scented or Unscented? Excellent April Fools thread, you sicko
I suppose you could shove a hosepipe up your ass and blast ten grammes up there lol You sure it was an April 1st joke?
Really funny, you had me going for a while, I was in total disbelief though, like thinking is this guy serious??